How often do you “blow things out of proportion?” If you’re a woman, you probably hear it a lot. The way we see, feel or hear our thoughts affects the way we interpret them.  The way we respond is based on our submodalities.

I have the ability to feel something and can remain neutral. I also have the ability to feel something and go over the deep end. It is all based on how strong or pervasive the way I feel it is.

We usually think the way we respond to an event is reasonable based on the way we are feeling about the event.  However, we are not actually responding the event itself, we are actually responding to how we interpreted the event with our modalities. This is one reason a two people may respond the same thing in very different ways.

How Submodalities Can Effect a Situation

SubmodalitiesLet’s take a routine meeting between a teacher and parent. The teacher is simply telling the parent what the child is not accomplishing during class. The parent may feel disappointed in their child. How big is this feeling? Small or large? What inner image comes to their mind when they think about what the teacher is saying? What are they telling themselves while the teacher is talking?   The parent may feel the teacher has a bad attitude to their child. Now, the parent is getting hurt and upset. They feel anxious inside.

Later, the parent sees their child. Based on their submodalities during the meeting, the parent may choose to let their kid have it. Or, maybe they reduced their submodalities on the way home and can respond reasonably.

The 3-layers: Event – Submodality – Reaction

Sometimes we let out submodalities get out of control and begin reacting to them as if they are the actual situation instead of realizing they are our response to the situation.

We all know it’s not the easy to put things in perspective, especially when we feel strongly about them. Submodality shifts are the way to do this. If we take the time to calm down and reduce our enlarged submodality, we can respond to the event and not our own feelings about the event. This will help us not go over the deep end, make a mountain out of a molehill, or blow things out of proportion.

If you’d like to learn how to adjust your submodalities, read this article on shifting submodalities for a quick protocol. Submodality shifts are a fundamental Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique.